A Substantial Void
 |
| How will a Void look? |
I had been writing blogs for a few days. And I write only
when I feel like writing. Now there is a paradox that’s bugging my mind from a
few days back. It’s just waiting to sting me. So let me write about the same today
before it pains me to hell.
I am gradually edging to that fag end of my life wherein I have
to put in daily hard effort to cohere my thoughts and actions. As a child when
we grow up, most of us were squabbling in the ocean of possibilities. You like
playing football, you will think you can be a good footballer or at least do
something related to football. You got good marks in Physics for a few time with
the help of divine intervention and that thought have definitely crossed your
mind that you can be the next Stephens Hawkins. It’s like there are numerous
floating stones in the ocean and depending on which one is near, you will hold
on to any one of them and be happy for the rest of life. But there is one thing
you can’t deny. With time, gradually the confusion of possibilities fade away
by your decisions and you zero upon something which you will name as fate. Mostly
this process of zeroing up doesn’t depend on your decisions absolutely, unlike
a few lucky souls. Next comes the struggling phase when you speed up your train
of thoughts to light years. But again that journey happens on a track whose
destination is predefined. And in a very few cases if you achieve, after few
years, on a sunny bright morning, when you will be trying to overpower the pain
of your knee joint reaching the table to grab the cup of coffee, the pain of
contemplation will strike you sharp.
Either you will feel “why am I sad?” or you will question “why
am I less happy?” or be that ignorant to feel “How happy I am!” (Reason for
calling you ignorant is that by that time you will already be ignorant enough
to dismiss the fact that you can even be happier, in absolute sense of the
term). This contemplation will have a thicker part of the thought when you will
question your decision of on to which track you have drove your train so far.
The reason why you will contemplate will be because of the reason that your
decisions in the past had been thoroughly circumstantially existential. Even
that is fine if you are contented with the same. You might even go forward one
step and tell it to yourself “Kinjal, your decision system was nourished by the
maturity which was the outcome at that particular period of time. So it is fine
if your achievements are compromised because your decision system was also
compromised”
